to quote danny glover

  "im getting too old for this shit"

     that being said its been nice talking to you all*, and i wish you nothing but the best.

*(not literally all of you, a good majority of you can go fuck yourselves for all i care)

Currently Listening Return of the Rentals By The Rentals see related

   i put up with 10 months of untollerable heat, only to get one week of fucking winter. and now its right back to summer. i should've taken that flight to alaska this morning, god what a dream that would've been. has anybody ever noticed how much sadder a song is when your leaving an airport, or is it just me?

does your sweet voice let my youth out?

 oh i fear the day that i am not with you. your just a stupid girl  i will be your boy.

we, make plans, and for the second i hit cold, as the dirt black night grows close. - how come i cant get to sleep? i try and try but i just dont.

 i've given all the presents that mattered, and i think i did ok, i dont want any, and the prospect of having to wake up tomorrow to get any is a daunting one.i've never been in less of a christmas mood. the weather? my health?  i dont know. but i think ill sleep until new years if thats alright.

    your smile grew thin as your family talked, arrived singing just a holiday song that didnt stop until you drank too much. how come im so out of touch?

to hell with christmas and the horse it rode in on.

so i went to a christmas party this past weekend. i had all this built up tension about the whole thing, but it went really well.  it was a completely new experience for me and  i really felt like i was in some sort of made for t.v. christmas special with all the singing and good cheer. no one was drinking or fighting or running around screaming because the oven was on fire. it changed my outlook on the whole season.and as usual i stressed out way too much over something that really wasnt bad at all.

 while i was panicking and protesting over going, my mother said to me "try not to worry, you'll do far worse for love."  at the time, i didn't believe her, i figured that this party would literally do me in.  i think she was right though. 

Currently Listening I Am the Movie By Motion City Soundtrack see related

it never ceases to amaze me how quickly things can turn around. and it always happens when i literally least expect it. this week has been very strenuous, but i've managed to keep things in perspective. i've been sober for 2 months now. and although i often feel like i'm missing out on something, its better than having that constant haze over me, its like a fog that reaches back into the past and distorts my vision of things that have happened and makes me question my feelings, and things i have said. its so much better now that its clear, i feel like me again, i'm nervous and i'm far to awkward. i've never been an eloquent speaker, but at least i realize again.

   ......where was it that i first heard that sweet sound of humility, it came to my ears in the goddamned loveliest melody.

             .. and then there is this girl. who also never ceases to amaze me.

                                                                                 .. ..oh i wish i had a parachute